108 Moons

by Jurga Ivanauskaitë
translated by Paul Perry
and Ruta Suchodolskyte

I live as if swinging
on the tongue of a bell
sometimes hating myself loudly
sometimes loving myself quietly

*

108 moons stiffen in a rosary
falling stars stick in the snow
on a dazzled night at the foot of Kailash
time is not passing not passing not passing not passing not passing

 *

I often wake up rooted
in the middle of an endless circle
I can feel the horror
there is no place to go

*

A shadow of a butterfly
flies over the earth
I am coming back
as if into mother’s womb
into suddenly opening emptiness

*

Asked by an old Master
I am singing about my favourite mountain
he interrupts me:
your love will not be answered

*

I am climbing and climbing
then stop to catch my breath
Kailash yogi is whispering:
I envy the mountain
who made you breathe
with such a passion

*

Foaming wine of the sky
in a blue mountain cup
on the New Year morning
while warming hands by the fire

*

In the fog at sunrise
a yak shepherd said to me:
darling if you are looking for enemies
your wish
is an order for everyone

*


Universe Cubed Maquette by Oisín Byrne

 

 


 

On the night of the full moon
on the way to Tingri
the messenger
who passed me by
didn't cast a shadow

*

White Kailash mountain
The Egg of the Universe
I fall to your feet
I am the one obsessed by lust

*

Butchers’ laughter
Lambs’ blood
soaking into the first snow
I am leaving Lhasa

*

Skies flow into me
while meditating
I embrace the earth
melt in ecstasy
but you are not here.